Sunday, June 14, 2009

Creating Desire When There is None

7:00am alarm rings and your husband curls up next to wife
7:01am his breath and hers are ferocious
7:02am he moves closer
7:03am she is thinking "not now"
7:03am he is thinking "now would be a great time!"
7:04am she is thinking "how do I get out of here without appearing uninterested?"
7:04am he is thinking "morning sex would be great"
7:05am kid screams on the baby monitor.. she says "sorry honey the kids are awake, how about tonight"
7:06am she thinks "did I really commit to tonight just now!"

5:00pm kids are going CRAZY!
5:01pm she thinks "what am I going to cook for dinner and where is my husband!"
5:02pm kid throws up
5:03pm she looks for the number to Pizza Hut
5:30pm kid throws up again
6:30pm husband walks into the door looking for some love and affection
6:30pm wife is hating her husband for sticking her at home all day
6:31pm wife smells like throw up
6:31pm husband surveys wife and mood, it looks scary but he is willing to move in
6:32pm pizza arrives
6:35pm family eats while mom checks on sick kid who is worn out and going to bed
7:00pm husband is thinking "tonight I am getting lucky"
7:00pm wife thinks "he is expecting some sex but I just want to go to bed"
10:00pm husband gets in bed next to wife and moves close
10:00pm wife pretends to be sleeping
10:01pm husband tries to wake wife
10:01pm no response
10:02pm husband gives up
10:05pm both husband and wife are contemplating the passion they had in the past...before kids...before marriage... before...

Where did the passion go? Is it lost forever? How can I create desire that seems hopelessly lost?

God created us to be one with our spouse. We are one flesh, created to enjoy one another through sexual pleasure and oneness. It appears to me that God designed us to find passion throughout the seasons of life and marriage. So if this is true how do we get back the passion that has faded?

1. Ecclesiastes 9:9 Enjoy life with your beloved wife during all the days of your fleeting life that God has given you on earth during all your fleeting days;for that is your reward in life and in your burdensome work on earth.

Key words: enjoy, all the days, fleeting days, reward!
God wants us to "enjoy" our spouse all the days in our fleeting life as a reward for our hard life on earth.

2. Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind

Key phrase: transformed by renewing of your mind
The only way to change that lack of desire into a hot burning desire for your man is to change your thinking.

Friend, ask God to reveal where your thinking is faulty. Test your thoughts during the day. Are you thinking about your husband during the day? Are you anticipating with excitement the alone time you get to have with him at night? Be spontaneous, buy sexy lingerie (even if it is size large!), have a date night and take your husband to pick out a sex toy, have sex in an unexpected place, try a position other than the one that you have been in the past ten years. Being a women of God is not about being uptight and conservative in the bedroom. God wants you to experience wonderful excitement and pleasure with your man...the man you chose to marry..the man who will be standing at the door with you when your last child moves out of the house...the man who will be by your side even when your best girlfriend has to move far away...the man who is one flesh with you.

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