Communication

Ladies:

The past several weeks I have seen an unhealthy trend in the marriages around me... miscommunication! She says one thing, he hears another. He says something, she hears another. Both are listening for what they want to hear and are formulating a defense without giving pause to think about what the other is really trying to say. Here are two simple examples:

Husband says,"You sure are grumpy lately."
She hears you are a failure as a mother and wife
He is trying to communicate I would like to be close with you, I desire your love

Wife says, "I won't live in a marriage like this"
He hears I want a divorce, I am through with you
She is trying to communicate I want to work on our marriage, I desire a full life with you

The problem is we are all selfish in our flesh and without a greater vision we cannot see beyond our limited vision. God is the great "I am". He is all knowing and can see everything in completion, beginning to end. If we yield our hearts to Him, He can guide in a way everlasting. His love is greater than any love we can offer one another and His ways are beyond anything we can ask or think.

I am not a mind reader and I bet you are not either. The only one capable of changing your spouse or you is God almighty himself. Instead of focusing on what we "think" we hear I would challenge you to start praying the simple prayer, "Lord change me." Either when trying to share your heart with your spouse or listening when he is trying to communicate with you, ask the Lord to help you discern what is true and what the heart of the matter really may be. God sees the big picture and in that I put my hope and trust.

Still growing up!
Annie

Ephesians 3:20-21 "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power (the Holy Spirit of God) that works within us,to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen."

Good Works

As human beings we tend to personalize our works. What I mean is that we assign an anticipated outcome or and expected response from those that are recipients of our efforts. Often the results do not align with our hopes and we find ourselves defeated, drug down and frustrated.

For example a simple dinner can become a totally disappointment. We spend the time lovingly shopping for the food, planning the meal and getting it out on the table so our hungry children and husbands can delight in our culinary skills. The first response from my six year old is "yuck, I don't like this!". Ok..I personalize it! Yes, this is a "great" teachable moment BUT I feel a little discouraged.

The Bible teaches us that we are God's workman, created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared in advance for us to do (paraphrase Ephesians 2:10). It is key to see that God prepared the works for us to do but He doesn't say anything about the results. It is time for us to focus in our responsibility and let God be the results man. We are the tool, He is the power that moves and directs us. Our response to God is our choice. We are are called to wake up and say "your will not mine". Nothing we do is of any lasting value when it is done of our own strength and design. It changed my life when I realized I was creating my own works and not being available for what God wanted me to be doing. His Word tells us to "be still". Well that is not going to get the dishes done, the bills paid and this body looking like it did when I was 18! The point is when we are available to God and His plan there will be enough time to do the job He has called you and me to do. If you are out of time you probably are not living on God's schedule.

I want to be clear that works have NOTHING to do with eternal salvation (going to heaven). Salvation is a free gift that is by faith alone (Eph 2:8-9). Our works are designed for God to be glorified in and through us! Our faith cannot be based on a human action but on the power of God working in us (1 Cor 2:5).

The challenge to wives and mothers... work as working for the Lord and don't personalize the response. 1 Thess 5:16, "Be joyful always, pray continually, in EVERYTHING give thanks for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." May your joy be contagious and the Spirit of God fill your homes and marriages with love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control!

Growing up by letting go of my will,
Annie