Are you making every effort?

This past week I have felt a sadness in my heart because of the events in the marriage of John and Kate Gosselin. I have been watching the show from the beginning and have enjoyed seeing the "reality" in the every day events of their family. I was encouraged to see them speaking openly about the difficulty of parenting and marriage but also proclaiming a dependence of God as their strength. After last season, I was starting to feel a correction in my heart that the way Kate treated her husband was not a good example for the way a "wife of noble character" should act. If they were proclaiming Jesus I was getting scared at what those who are not strong in faith might think about Christian wives.

I have gone through a range of emotion many of which have been judgmental and unforgiving. As I struggled with why this was bothering me the Lord spoke to me today and this is what He showed me. If my husband had not been so committed to me and our family this is how our marriage could have ended as well. I was a prideful, controlling wife, who sought my own agenda and not my husbands. Wow! I was just like Kate. Only by God's mercy and grace am I still married today and actually finding joy with my husband! I am grateful that my husband stuck with me and has endured with me as we have both grown and changed.

The Lord gave me a wonderful reminder through Romans 14. In the passage he says:

vs 12 each of us will give an account of himself to God

vs 13 let us stop passing judgment on one another

vs 19 make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification

This was a great reminder that I am not the judge of others, God is and He will ask for an account when our lives are over. As I live on earth I am called to make EVERY effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification. These verses are clearly written to show that our responsibility to our husbands, our children and those around us is chose to let God be the judge and to love others in a way that shows we are making EVERY effort to live at peace. Jesus is the perfect example of surrendering His own will unto the Father by getting on the cross and allowing himself to be crucified. Because of His sacrifice, we can have everlasting life and happiness with Him. In light of Christ sacrifice, my daily efforts (only by the help of the Lord) to make peace and live for mutual edification in my marriage are small in comparison.

Making every effort one day at a time,
Annie

Creating Desire When There is None

7:00am alarm rings and your husband curls up next to wife
7:01am his breath and hers are ferocious
7:02am he moves closer
7:03am she is thinking "not now"
7:03am he is thinking "now would be a great time!"
7:04am she is thinking "how do I get out of here without appearing uninterested?"
7:04am he is thinking "morning sex would be great"
7:05am kid screams on the baby monitor.. she says "sorry honey the kids are awake, how about tonight"
7:06am she thinks "did I really commit to tonight just now!"

5:00pm kids are going CRAZY!
5:01pm she thinks "what am I going to cook for dinner and where is my husband!"
5:02pm kid throws up
5:03pm she looks for the number to Pizza Hut
5:30pm kid throws up again
6:30pm husband walks into the door looking for some love and affection
6:30pm wife is hating her husband for sticking her at home all day
6:31pm wife smells like throw up
6:31pm husband surveys wife and mood, it looks scary but he is willing to move in
6:32pm pizza arrives
6:35pm family eats while mom checks on sick kid who is worn out and going to bed
7:00pm husband is thinking "tonight I am getting lucky"
7:00pm wife thinks "he is expecting some sex but I just want to go to bed"
10:00pm husband gets in bed next to wife and moves close
10:00pm wife pretends to be sleeping
10:01pm husband tries to wake wife
10:01pm no response
10:02pm husband gives up
10:05pm both husband and wife are contemplating the passion they had in the past...before kids...before marriage... before...

Where did the passion go? Is it lost forever? How can I create desire that seems hopelessly lost?

God created us to be one with our spouse. We are one flesh, created to enjoy one another through sexual pleasure and oneness. It appears to me that God designed us to find passion throughout the seasons of life and marriage. So if this is true how do we get back the passion that has faded?

1. Ecclesiastes 9:9 Enjoy life with your beloved wife during all the days of your fleeting life that God has given you on earth during all your fleeting days;for that is your reward in life and in your burdensome work on earth.

Key words: enjoy, all the days, fleeting days, reward!
God wants us to "enjoy" our spouse all the days in our fleeting life as a reward for our hard life on earth.

2. Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind

Key phrase: transformed by renewing of your mind
The only way to change that lack of desire into a hot burning desire for your man is to change your thinking.

Friend, ask God to reveal where your thinking is faulty. Test your thoughts during the day. Are you thinking about your husband during the day? Are you anticipating with excitement the alone time you get to have with him at night? Be spontaneous, buy sexy lingerie (even if it is size large!), have a date night and take your husband to pick out a sex toy, have sex in an unexpected place, try a position other than the one that you have been in the past ten years. Being a women of God is not about being uptight and conservative in the bedroom. God wants you to experience wonderful excitement and pleasure with your man...the man you chose to marry..the man who will be standing at the door with you when your last child moves out of the house...the man who will be by your side even when your best girlfriend has to move far away...the man who is one flesh with you.