Are you making every effort?

This past week I have felt a sadness in my heart because of the events in the marriage of John and Kate Gosselin. I have been watching the show from the beginning and have enjoyed seeing the "reality" in the every day events of their family. I was encouraged to see them speaking openly about the difficulty of parenting and marriage but also proclaiming a dependence of God as their strength. After last season, I was starting to feel a correction in my heart that the way Kate treated her husband was not a good example for the way a "wife of noble character" should act. If they were proclaiming Jesus I was getting scared at what those who are not strong in faith might think about Christian wives.

I have gone through a range of emotion many of which have been judgmental and unforgiving. As I struggled with why this was bothering me the Lord spoke to me today and this is what He showed me. If my husband had not been so committed to me and our family this is how our marriage could have ended as well. I was a prideful, controlling wife, who sought my own agenda and not my husbands. Wow! I was just like Kate. Only by God's mercy and grace am I still married today and actually finding joy with my husband! I am grateful that my husband stuck with me and has endured with me as we have both grown and changed.

The Lord gave me a wonderful reminder through Romans 14. In the passage he says:

vs 12 each of us will give an account of himself to God

vs 13 let us stop passing judgment on one another

vs 19 make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification

This was a great reminder that I am not the judge of others, God is and He will ask for an account when our lives are over. As I live on earth I am called to make EVERY effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification. These verses are clearly written to show that our responsibility to our husbands, our children and those around us is chose to let God be the judge and to love others in a way that shows we are making EVERY effort to live at peace. Jesus is the perfect example of surrendering His own will unto the Father by getting on the cross and allowing himself to be crucified. Because of His sacrifice, we can have everlasting life and happiness with Him. In light of Christ sacrifice, my daily efforts (only by the help of the Lord) to make peace and live for mutual edification in my marriage are small in comparison.

Making every effort one day at a time,
Annie

Creating Desire When There is None

7:00am alarm rings and your husband curls up next to wife
7:01am his breath and hers are ferocious
7:02am he moves closer
7:03am she is thinking "not now"
7:03am he is thinking "now would be a great time!"
7:04am she is thinking "how do I get out of here without appearing uninterested?"
7:04am he is thinking "morning sex would be great"
7:05am kid screams on the baby monitor.. she says "sorry honey the kids are awake, how about tonight"
7:06am she thinks "did I really commit to tonight just now!"

5:00pm kids are going CRAZY!
5:01pm she thinks "what am I going to cook for dinner and where is my husband!"
5:02pm kid throws up
5:03pm she looks for the number to Pizza Hut
5:30pm kid throws up again
6:30pm husband walks into the door looking for some love and affection
6:30pm wife is hating her husband for sticking her at home all day
6:31pm wife smells like throw up
6:31pm husband surveys wife and mood, it looks scary but he is willing to move in
6:32pm pizza arrives
6:35pm family eats while mom checks on sick kid who is worn out and going to bed
7:00pm husband is thinking "tonight I am getting lucky"
7:00pm wife thinks "he is expecting some sex but I just want to go to bed"
10:00pm husband gets in bed next to wife and moves close
10:00pm wife pretends to be sleeping
10:01pm husband tries to wake wife
10:01pm no response
10:02pm husband gives up
10:05pm both husband and wife are contemplating the passion they had in the past...before kids...before marriage... before...

Where did the passion go? Is it lost forever? How can I create desire that seems hopelessly lost?

God created us to be one with our spouse. We are one flesh, created to enjoy one another through sexual pleasure and oneness. It appears to me that God designed us to find passion throughout the seasons of life and marriage. So if this is true how do we get back the passion that has faded?

1. Ecclesiastes 9:9 Enjoy life with your beloved wife during all the days of your fleeting life that God has given you on earth during all your fleeting days;for that is your reward in life and in your burdensome work on earth.

Key words: enjoy, all the days, fleeting days, reward!
God wants us to "enjoy" our spouse all the days in our fleeting life as a reward for our hard life on earth.

2. Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind

Key phrase: transformed by renewing of your mind
The only way to change that lack of desire into a hot burning desire for your man is to change your thinking.

Friend, ask God to reveal where your thinking is faulty. Test your thoughts during the day. Are you thinking about your husband during the day? Are you anticipating with excitement the alone time you get to have with him at night? Be spontaneous, buy sexy lingerie (even if it is size large!), have a date night and take your husband to pick out a sex toy, have sex in an unexpected place, try a position other than the one that you have been in the past ten years. Being a women of God is not about being uptight and conservative in the bedroom. God wants you to experience wonderful excitement and pleasure with your man...the man you chose to marry..the man who will be standing at the door with you when your last child moves out of the house...the man who will be by your side even when your best girlfriend has to move far away...the man who is one flesh with you.

Psalm 20

May 15, 2009

I was spending time in the Word and digging into Psalm 20. It "happened" to be the current chapter in a devotional I am working through. I have recently been in a struggle over something "good" and feeling frustrated, angry and disappointed. As I have cried out to God He answered through these verses:

Psalm 20
May the LORD answer you in the day of trouble!
May the name of the God of Jacob set you securely on high!
May He send you help from the sanctuary
And support you from Zion!
May He remember all your meal offerings
And find your burnt offering acceptable!
May He grant you your heart's desire
And fulfill all your counsel!
We will sing for joy over your victory,
And in the name of our God we will set up our banners
May the LORD fulfill all your petitions.
Now I know that the LORD saves His anointed;
He will answer him from His holy heaven
With the saving strength of His right hand.
Some boast in chariots and some in horses,
But we will boast in the name of the LORD, our God.
8They have bowed down and fallen,
But we have risen and stood upright.
Save, O LORD;
May the King answer us in the day we call.

God desires to hear our cries and He desires to answer them from His throne on high. The courts are in session and you are invited to kneel before His throne and give over to Him all your plans and desires. He will lean down, take your hand in His and lead you in the path He has set out before you. Instead of feeling defeated, know that in His name we have victory!

As an application I challenge you to rewrite this Psalm in your own words as a prayer to the Lord. This was how I rewrote it...

Psalm 20 rewritten by Annie:
Lord, answer me in this day of trouble!
May your name, God Most High, secure me.
Lord, send help from heaven and support from Zion.
I pray my offering is acceptable to you but I know
nothing compares to the sacrifice you gave for me.
Make your desires mine and fulfill them in your time.
I will wait joyfully for victory,
in your name I will put all confidence.
Hear my prayers and answer please!
I know you have saved me, you will answer me from on high
and your right hand will strengthen me.
I reject man's understanding and strength-
I boast in you and your name alone.
Others bow to man's agenda and fail-
I will rise up and find success in you!
Lord, save and hear me today!

Helpmate

Ladies:

As a student of God's Word and a desire to grow into the woman He created me to be, I thought it would be helpful to share a little insight into a common verse heard by wives around the globe. The text notes and translation that follow are from the Net Bible.

Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. 55 I will make a companion 56 for him who corresponds to him.”

56 tn Traditionally “helper.” The English word “helper,” because it can connote so many different ideas, does not accurately convey the connotation of the Hebrew word עֵזֶר (’ezer). Usage of the Hebrew term does not suggest a subordinate role, a connotation which English “helper” can have. In the Bible God is frequently described as the “helper,” the one who does for us what we cannot do for ourselves, the one who meets our needs. In this context the word seems to express the idea of an “indispensable companion.” The woman would supply what the man was lacking in the design of creation and logically it would follow that the man would supply what she was lacking, although that is not stated here. See further M. L. Rosenzweig, “A Helper Equal to Him,” Jud 139 (1986): 277-80.

57 tn The Hebrew expression כְּנֶגְדּוֹ (kÿnegdo) literally means “according to the opposite of him.” Translations such as “suitable [for]” (NASB, NIV), “matching,” “corresponding to” all capture the idea. (Translations that render the phrase simply “partner” [cf. NEB, NRSV], while not totally inaccurate, do not reflect the nuance of correspondence and/or suitability.) The man’s form and nature are matched by the woman’s as she reflects him and complements him. Together they correspond. In short, this prepositional phrase indicates that she has everything that God had invested in him.

You are your husbands indispensable companion. You are a match and a complement to him. It truly is a partnership that requires both of you to participate and without each other your marriage is lacking. While you cannot control your husbands role you can chose to be available to your mate by being his companion and supporting him where you see God has designed you to fit. If you are having trouble seeing where you fit in the marriage ask God to reveal it to you! Seek and find, knock and the door will be opened.

Happy Sunday!
Annie

Intense Devotion

I did just read something wonderful in Isaiah 9:7 "the Lord's intense devotion for His people will accomplish this." The passage is referring to His devotion to His people Israel and the promises He made them (but we were grafted in when Christ came to save us all). The accomplishing of "this" is His ultimate rule and reign over all peoples, nations, and tongues(Daniel 7:14). The part that stuck me was the word "intense". The Lord is intensely in love with his people and desires to see the fulfillment of His will for all humanity. Be encouraged that when you feel like life may be monotonous, meaningless or without hope..it is not! The creator of all things has intense devotion for His children and will accomplish His plan to have all earthly things under His rule and authority.

SO WHAT? If God can manage the redemption of man and the destruction of all evil, He can help you in sorting out the light and momentary trials we face today.

2Corinthians 4:17-18 For our momentary, light suffering is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison because we are not looking at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen. For what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.

For His Glory,
Annie

The Joy in Conflict

Ladies,

Happy Sunday! Hope you taking time to rest and relax from the "business" of life. Since you have taken time to read today I want to send you a word of encouragment.

I am a women who LOVES the Lord and His Word. I mean I could abandon all things (family, friends, all material things, even food for a time) and just devote my whole life to being with my heavenly father. We all have our passions. I even have many interst but nothing comes close the the way I crave me some Jesus! My sister joked with me that I would make a great nun. I laughed but in the midst of my laugh God spoke to my heart and this is what He said..."You would be too sad without Mike (my husband/picture above) because he challenges you the most in your walk with me." Thank you Lord for using my husband, the man I have pledged to spend the rest of my life with, to spur me into a deeper walk with you.

In the conflict, the highs and lows, the simple and complex, our marriages test every part of who we are and want to be. It is easy to wear a mask around those we see on a less intimate level. You may have tried to "play" some role in the beginning of your marriage, but too quickly the real you and the real him was exposed. I mean really, you are literally naked before this person! The encouragment is this:

1) When Jesus enters your life something "good" begins. God always finishes what He starts! Phillipians 1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"

2) ALL conflict in your marriage should be looked at with JOY!
James 1:2-4"Consider it all joy, my sisters (annie's change), when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

3) God desires you are lacking in nothing. I will personally testify that trials have equipped me to the place I am now and without them I would be lacking in so many ways!!

SO WHAT? Apply these truth and let the Spirit of God change your heart today. Pray and ask him to show you where you are not looking at life's testings with Joy.

Looking Up,
Annie

By the way, if you do not know what it means to know Jesus and have His Spirit living in you please email me (anniemendrala@aol.com) so I can share with you the life changing reality of knowing Christ as your savior.

Attitude!

Sister:

Today is a day for celebration! Today we celebrate the freedom we received when Christ rose from the dead and conquered sin and death. Our Redeemer Lives!

As of today I have three sons, Michael is the oldest and he is five. Five years has been a lifetime of growth for me and I am grateful for the many lessons I have learned through the role as mom. During my first (second and third) pregnancy I was extremely nauseous the entire nine months. I just wanted to die and I wasn't sure how I was going to make it to the next hour not to mention the next day or month! I became consumed with how I felt and how I was going to try and rid myself of the nausea. It became impossible to plan for tomorrow I had to just make it day by day. I felt like my life at that point was useless and I figured I could be more useful to God if I just came and joined him up in heaven. Well, He did not take my life and instead gave me an innocent little baby boy as a reward for the time served. I felt like I was ready to live again... then the sleep deprivation set in! No one can really prepare a new mom for the complete fatigue that comes with lack of sleep. I became irritable, apathetic and craved sleep! I wanted to rejoin the human race but was drowning in my new world as mommy. That is when God showed me the model of how to live a life pleasing to God through His son Jesus. Philippians 2:5 "You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had." What attitude did He have?

who though he existed in the form of God
did not regard equality with God
as something to be grasped,
but emptied himself
by taking on the form of a slave,
by looking like other men,
and by sharing in human nature.
He humbled himself,
by becoming obedient to the point of death
– even death on a cross!

Well, that put me in my place. The moment I read these words I realized I had to change my attitude to match the attitude of Christ. I had to empty myself of my own desires, humble myself to God's authority in my life, and become obedient to His will for me. I was called to serve my family in love, just as Jesus came into the world to sacrifice His life for us in love. Don't miss the point that His attitude was one motivated by His love for God and His children. Ask God to help you renew your attitude to be one of selfless and unconditional love for those around you today.

Looking up!
Annie

Face to Face

Ladies:

It is interesting to me that we spend our days, weeks and years planning and preparing for the future. It may be the immediate future, soon to be future or far off future, but we are constantly getting ready for the next moment in time. What if your last moment was about to arrive? Are you spinning your wheels over things that are temporary and have no ultimate value. I find myself, as I get older, constantly re-evaluating my priorities. Over time the list has gotten shorter and my expectations are less. Now expecting less can be good or bad depending on the expectation. In a good sense I am learning to not expect perfection, and offer grace to all people (husband, children, friends, person in the car blocking me from getting where I want to go, etc). When I offer that grace I am then able to give it to myself which ultimately was the first gift given me when I met Jesus Christ. After accepting myself as imperfect, letting go of my pride, and leaning on God for all my strength, the priorities of life became God's priority for me. His yoke is easy and His burden light! How freeing!

As I was reading in the Bible a few months ago I came across a wonderful verse that spoke straight to my heart which I have to share with you all:
1 Corinthians 13:12 "For now we see in a mirror indirectly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known."
Ladies! We are FULLY known by God. Even though we have yet to see Him face to face and are seeking to know Him, He already knows you and me. The comfort for me lies in the fact that someone already understands me and is constantly seeking to reveal Himself to me as I seek after Him. Even if you are not intentionally looking to find God, He already knows where you are and who you are. He is waiting. Patiently and with GREAT expectation of seeing you and I face to face one day. Seek Him today and He will reveal Himself to you.

The future will come, the day you will leave this earth and go somewhere. I believe the somewhere is to be face to face with our God if we chose to accept and believe in His son Jesus Christ. Don't miss out on knowing him before the future is no more. If you know Him, make Him your priority today and the rest of life's trials and burdens will become dim in the light of His glory and grace!

Love, Annie

A Day to Let Go

Ladies,

June 1993: boy meets girl, love at first sight.
July 1993-January 2000: emotional roller coaster of dating.
January 15,2000: beautiful fairytale wedding.
January 16,2000: reality.

Marriage is the number one place I see women tested (I can put myself at the top of those women!). We are striving to fulfill the ideal woman's role. Beautiful, intelligent, wise, organized, creative, funny, resourceful, great in bed, patient, loving and kind. We were the princess on our wedding day and somewhere along the way we became the slave girl who is serving everyone elses needs but our own. We are programmed to believe the world revolves around us, the princess, when in fact the world should revolve around the King, KING JESUS!

The motto of Survivor is outwit, outplay and outlast. Who are we kidding! Life is not a competition and we are not the enemy of each other. Why do we become the adversary of our husbands when we are to be his helpmate (Genesis 2:18-25)? Two worlds exist: God and Satan. These are the teams. When we chose to fight against our God given role we are rejecting God and therefor playing on the opposing team. Scary.

The challenge:
1) What area of your marriage are you deceiving yourself or manipulating your husband? Stop what you are doing, close your eyes, and ask God to reveal this to you...He will show you.

2) Take a minute to get on your knees and ask God to release you from the burden of being "strong". Let God come in and reign in the place you keep trying to control. Open your arms in an act of surrender to the King.

3) Go to your husband and confess the area you are trying to take control. Confess any wrong attitude, wrong desire or deceitful words you may have spoken to him this week or over the course of your relationship with him. Tell him you want to work with him and ask him to share any areas he feels you are pushing against him. WOW, being vulnerable is scary but so impacting on our husbands hearts.

4) The most exciting part about God transforming us is shouting it from the ROOF so that we can all share in giving the King the glory. I would love to hear your personal testimony of how God is working in your life today! Post your comment!

Tough Times

Encouragment for living in tough times

2 Peter 3:14-18

3:14 Therefore, dear friends, since you are waiting for these things (annie's note: Christ to return and establish the new heaven and earth), strive to be found at peace, without spot or blemish, when you come into his presence. 3:15 And regard the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as also our dear brother Paul wrote to you, according to the wisdom given to him, 3:16 speaking of these things in all his letters. Some things in these letters are hard to understand, things the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they also do to the rest of the scriptures. 3:17 Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard that you do not get led astray by the error of these unprincipled men and fall from your firm grasp on the truth. 3:18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the honor both now and on that eternal day.

The way we keep from living in fear about today or being led astray by the world is to grow in our knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus! Read the word today. Ask God to reveal himself to you.

Bathroom Towels

My Story:
My husband, Mike, and I have two towel bars, side by side, in our bathroom. Since we moved in our house about a year ago, he never has hung his towel the way I wanted. To give you a little more understanding I fold the towel in half lengthwise and the folded side hangs to the left.

To give him the benefit, I never actually told him in words how I wanted his towel hung. Instead, I thought he would read my mind, observe how I hung my towel and follow my lead BUT Mike was taking his towel, folding it in half lengthwise but the folded side was on the right.

Now, you are thinking this lady is crazy… her husband hangs his towel up what more does she want?! I know, I admit I am very type A. like everything to be in its place and have a sense of order. This ridiculous tale does have a point so hold on...

As God likes to do in my life, He spoke to me through this silly struggle I went through every morning after I hung my towel up and then rehung Mike’s.

As clear as my own voice I heard God say, “fold it his way.”

What?!
My way is the best way, my way is the right way, my way is the only way.
Oh no! Here I go again...independent and unsubmissive to God and my husband.

"Simple. Fold it Mike’s way and then they will be uniform."

Actually, to me, it didn’t matter the direction. I just wanted them to look the same.

I can’t begin to tell you how this trivial task revealed a much deeper need in me to let my husband lead and for me to align myself with his direction. Both ways worked but giving over to his leading was what God desired of me.

The next step was to NOT TO SAY ANYTHING and just start rehanging my towel. So, for several days I would take a shower and then make a conscience choice to fold it the opposite way that came naturally to me. It was a wonderful moment I shared with the Lord each day as I chose to follow Mike.

The impact on me was huge and I felt it was time to share this with my husband. For the record, I am the pride holder in the marriage and I am not good at admitting wrong (Mike is fabulous at this). As we were driving in the car, I looked at him and said, "There is something I need to share with you."

I told him the story and he began to laugh. He said that he thought he had been hanging the towel the way I wanted all the time. From that day forward, he started changing his towel direction (which I didn’t ask him to do)!

A simple moment of communicating with him moved his heart to do something the way I had wanted all along. I think the greatest impact was him seeing me be vulnerable and admit, in humility, the struggle I had been having.

God’s word:
1) Ephesians 5:22 says “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”
Wives, submission is not to be mistaken for control. We do not submit so that they can control us. We submit because we are doing it in reverence to the Lord. If we fail to yield to our husbands, ask their opinion and consider them in our decisions, we are failing to yield to God Himself.

2) 1 Peter 3:1-4 “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”
This verse often comes to mind when I am with my husband. God has taught me to shut my mouth over the fifteen years of knowing my husband. When I shut my mouth, listen, pray for him and let God do His work, Mike hears GOD...not me. When Mike hears my voice, he shuts down.

Application:
At the end of the day, we as wives and/or mothers are all tired and ready to clock out. The joy of motherhood is that our job is NEVER over. The very conflict is in the fact that your job as wife/mother is NEVER over.

We must make the choice today to give our husbands the silent treatment when he comes home. I am not talking about the "angry...I hate you because you left me with these kids all day and you don't know how much I do for you in a day" silent treatment. I am talking about a hug and a kiss when he walks in the door, a smile on your face, an open ear to whatever he wants to tell you...a closed mouth to your opinions and complaints.

Blessings to you all my sisters!
xoxoxo
Annie

He wants to Know YOU

I have to say it loud and clear... God wants to know you!!! He desires a personal and intimate relationship with you His child. Can you imagine carrying a baby in your womb for 40 weeks, giving birth, watching him grow and then him never wanting to talk to you, play with you, snuggle with you? I wonder if God sees his children who are born into this world and never accept Him as their father as if they are stillborn. Basically, they never found the life He intended even though their bodies formed in the flesh, therefor they never were alive in the first place! If you feel stillborn God still can breath life into you if you ask Him to do so. His Word is a story of redemption. Past, present and future are all covered within the 66 books He inspired. His plan is perfect and His love unfailing. Surrender by letting go...let go sister and let Him take charge.

I am still trying to understand this "blogging" world! I am sure it is easy but the simple task are taking up the majority of my time.